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Dignity

Erika Vickerman • June 29, 2022

Proverbs 31, verses 16-26  The Woman who fears the Lord


16 

She considers a field and buys it;

    with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

17 

She dresses herself with strength

    and makes her arms strong.

18 

She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.

    Her lamp does not go out at night.

19 

She puts her hands to the distaff,

    and her hands hold the spindle.

20 

She opens her hand to the poor

    and reaches out her hands to the needy.

21 

She is not afraid of snow for her household,

    for all her household are clothed in scarlet.

22 

She makes bed coverings for herself;

    her clothing is fine linen and purple.

23 

Her husband is known in the gates

    when he sits among the elders of the land.

24 

She makes linen garments and sells them;

    she delivers sashes to the merchant.

25 

Strength and dignity are her clothing,

    and she laughs at the time to come.

26 

She opens her mouth with wisdom,

    and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.



I love this verse from Proverbs, mostly because it was read by my Mom at my Grandmothers funeral last September when she passed away in her home that she and my Grandfather built in 1965. She was 96 years old and I loved her and looked up to her. The world still feels a bit scary to me without her around, like that feeling you get when you swim out into the ocean and realize it has gotten really deep just suddenly, there is a seemingly endless abyss with nothing to grasp onto..

  She used to give me birthday cards that said things like “Happy 40th birthday, , and when you would turn the card to the back  in her handwriting would say “you’ve got 51 years to catch up to me!” She sewed my girls beautiful doll clothes, tailored every bridesmaid dress I ever wore, was famous for her baking and recipes, and was a delight to be around all the way until the end. She also happened to have three daughters and one son, like me,  and if my second half of life could be lived as hers was I would be blessed beyond measure.. 


When my mom chose this verse and read this at her funeral, it rang so true about my Grandma. And what really stood out was verse 25, strength and dignity are her clothing. Yes, that was what was one of the most special things about her, the way she treated everyone with such dignity. It didn’t matter if you were 2 years old or 92, when you came to her home she stood up to greet you, or bent down to your eye level.  She would smile and say how wonderful it was that you came to visit her. She would offer you a compliment of one sort of the other. Then she would offer you and insist upon you having something to drink, and a piece of her recently baked bread or pie, and then you would sit down with her fancy silverware and tea cups and she would focus in on you. What were you up to that day, how were things going in your life, what had you been learning recently. She valued you taking your  time to come and visit with her, and everyone left her house feeling loved, appreciated, lifted up, and more important than when they arrived. She was kind of a big deal,  but she never was too interested in talking about herself. She was interested in you. And one of the many things I learned from her is that the most interesting person in the room is the person who is the most interested.


It is not hard to look around at our world today and feel filled with alot of stress and despair. Many of us are overwhelmed with the pains and headlines in our country  right now, and the noise of it all is so loud that it feels almost inescapable, overwhelming,  like that feeling of being too deep in the ocean to touch.. The  absence of truth, the lack of dignity, financial greed and financial stress  is all jarring and some days very sickening. One of the things my Grandma, our matriarch,  was known to say, whether breaking up an argument  between her children, or reaching for the remote when she didn’t like something said on tv, was “ugh, how undignified” and that stopped the behavior or ended some conversations in our family. She was not afraid to share her opinion, and she  would not stand for people treating anyone with disrespect..

Dignity is defined as he state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect. Dignity is curious and kind. Dignity stands for what she believes but invites others ideas into discourse to see their point of view. Dignity knows her worth and respects the worth of others. Dignity does not name call or invent names to belittle people. Dignity is the reason why, in my faith,  Jesus’ example for our lives and our world is so needed. Jesus teaches us to love our neighbor as ourselves, to do unto others as we would have done to us. Jesus in countless ways gives dignity to people who others believed on the margins and not fully worthy..  It is Jesus, when I shake my head at many of the terrible things done in the name of Christianity in our world past and present,  why I come back to my faith and believe even in times of disbelief. I see that if we could see every child in poverty, every prisoner in pain, every elderly person who is lonely, every person homeless on the street with eyes of dignity, that we would live in a different world, we would live on earth as it is in heaven.. And so it has been a sign for me to understand that if dignity is not present in the room, in the decisions, in the conversation, then it is time to walk out and raise my voice, turn the tv off and write to the editors. Dignity is a must and a goal for every one of us as Christians, wherever we go, wherever we have power, wherever we have influence. Dignity we must model to every face we encounter, and we could make this world a different place. 


At Normandale Lutheran where she and my Grandfather were founding members, hangs a gorgeous tapestry in their new chapel, entitled “On earth as in heaven.” and it depicts a massive cloud with golden sunlight emanating from it. On the bottom 1/4th of the tapestry is a lake with the cloud reflecting back some of its glory and beauty in the water. It is a beautiful experience to stand before and contemplate, and it clearly speaks out loud. It calls us to bring heaven to earth, as much as we can, whenever we can, however we can. I trust that God holds my Grandmother and our loved ones close in that heavenly sky, that beauty that on some days and in some times is reflected here on earth.I pray that God grants us the love, the energy, the time and the commitment to do everything possible here in our time,  to bring heaven to earth. I believe this is our  calling as  any followers of any faith and as good humans, and I believe that it begins with dignity. 


There are two  things we can know and trust to be true-You and I are beloved children of God.  And so is every one else.

Mother Earth Decides

By Erika Vickerman • June 29, 2022
W ho decides if a seed will grow? Is it the gardener of the seed who intentionally loves, digs and cultivates in fertilized soil? Sadly, as many have experienced, No. Is it the scatterer of seeds that allow them to land where they will across fertile or dry land-and then walks away- who decides if a seed will grow? Definitely No. As a lifetime gardener, I have watched and have witnessed. It is the earth that decides, in her own unique place, if the soil is right, if the sunlight is enough, if the rain comes predictably. Mother Earth decides. If the soil is too young, is too rocky or too dry or too shallow, the seed will not grow. If the seed is too watered, or in too much shade, or is unattended to, the seed will not grow. If there is not enough sunlight, or too much sunlight, the seed will not grow. If the seed is planted in the wrong season, or in the wrong climate, the seed will not grow. If the seed is planted where there are weeds, the seed will not grow. Only the earth decides if a seed will grow. The earth is our Mother, it is she who by design is trusted by God/Spirit/Universe to grow or not to grow a seed. She,and she only, decides if and when a seed will grow. Women in America, we are the caretakers of our bodies, our children, our earth and our future. No one will decide but us what we do with our God given design. The corruption of past leadership and shady characters on our Supreme Court have handed down this reversal of Roe, which wants to declare a lie that the seed is in charge of the earth. Let’s make sure that this never, ever stands.

Look for a Woman

By Erika Vickerman • June 29, 2022
I've always told my kids, if they were in trouble, to look for a woman, and if possible, a mom with kids. I am so sure of this fact, that a woman would help my child, no matter what place on earth, no matter the culture, the language, the location, whatever barrier there may be between my child and her, she would overlook that to help my child. I trust this about 98 percent to be true. And how amazing is that? In a world full of so much pain, corruption, war, and struggle, that I (and I’m willing to bet many of you) am confident that if my child were in trouble, 98 percent of the time a woman ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD would drop what she was doing to help my child to find safety or to find me. This is something that is truly incredible, and should be honored and celebrated everywhere. We women are not only the bearers and birthers of children, we are the caretakers and protectors of our children and our communities. We are by in large not the perpetrators of sexual or physical violence. We are not the domestic abusers, we do not start war for territories or religious beliefs, we do not like violence or glorify violent games, we don’t start wars. We, by in large do not brandish weapons and make violent threats with words upon others. It is incredible, the backbone of trust and safety that we offer to the world, to our families, to our friends. We do the bulk of the volunteer work. In addition we do the hourly, daily, heroic work every day of raising people up, so often thanklessly doing the organizing and scheduling work at home, the wake up routine, breakfasts, rushing out the door, the daily job, the shopping, mending, cleaning, buying, as well as the advice giving, put-your-device-down, pack the lunch and snacks, check the homework folder, read before bed and lights out routine. All that. Oh, and plan the holiday gathering and divide up who-will-bring-what to the extended family meal, purchase the presents, plan the birthday parties, decorate for Christmas. All the family celebrations and organizing people fall onto us and we do it with invitations, thank you notes and special party favors for each guest. And if a dad happens to walk out and leave his children, it is Mom who almost always stays and finds a way to raise those kids on her own. Yes, all of that. That is what women do. It is women who we trust to help our most precious people. We trust in their hearts and souls that they are not too tired or burdened, despite all that is required of them, to help a child in need.They will not harm our children or use our children, they will help them. And this brings me to this past few weeks. In the horrors unfolding at Uvalde, Texas, we see it was the teachers, also mothers, who died trying to keep their students safe. It was the 11 year old girls, at least two different ones, who took their dead teachers phones and who called and called 911 repeatedly and asked for help, asked for the police to come, bravely trying to save their classmates and themselves. And it was the mothers, screaming at the officers who were holding them back, one who finally after being detained got away, scaled a fence and entered the school to retrieve her two kids to safety. This scripted, violent tale that we need good guys with guns to defend against bad guys with guns is a myth, it is a lie for profit and power. We need far less male greed and male violence and far, far less guns. We need far more women and mothers to step into leadership roles of every kind, to save our earth and change our world. We are the leaders that the world needs, right here, right in front of our own eyes. We must be our own ally’s and our own cheerleaders because even the good men are not cheering loudly enough for us. Sometimes I barely hear them at all. The vision and mission of the world that is coming is clear. As I write this, Cassidy Hutchinson, a brave 26 year old aid to Mark Meadows, just testified to the January 6th committee with the most shocking and explosive testimony we have heard yet on the details that led up to the insurrection of our Nation’s Capitol on January 6th, 2020. The courage and bravery of this woman coming forward with her truth against power and corruption, even at great personal risk, is just one more testimony to the strength of women, despite the many ways the world tries to hold us back from full autonomy and tries ways to take away our dignity. Women must continue to rise up and speak up, to lead and be celebrated for who they are and always have been, the true leaders that the world needs, trusts, and relies on. We’ve got to own it, to celebrate it, to lean into it hard, and to become it. The Dalai Lama himself said that western women will save the world. Our earth and our world is very much waiting for us to lift our voices and step out with confidence to show a better way forward for our children. So in every way, it is the best advice for the future… Trust Women. Look for a Woman.

Connection Before Correction

By Erika Vickerman • September 28, 2020
If you feel like simply getting out the door on time (tie your shoes… where’s your coat… do you have your lunch??) is a battle, the reality is that you are locked in a power struggle with your child.
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